PSL Overflow Part 2

[loistheintrepid]

For TFLN overflow, etc.

Comments

for @red_peril

[loistheintrepid]

[ Continued from here]

[ Lois has managed to sober up just a little since the first text she'd sent him, thankfully enough. The taquitos are in the oven and she's wrapped up in a robe, chugging down a bottle of water before she hears the knock on the door.

She opens it, flashing him a grin. ]

You're quick.

[red_peril]

"Hi," He had barely knocked on the door when she answered it. Smiling, he held out the paper bag to her containing the two liter bottle of vodka. Illya was quite tall. At almost two meters tall, he was just at the right height to bang his head on most door frames. "Uh... I have very long legs, so I walk fast."

[loistheintrepid]

Her lips spread into a grin and she takes the bottle, letting him inside. God, he’s tall. Like, really tall. And she’s already about 5’8” without shoes on.

“Cool,” she says, heading towards the kitchen as she opens the bottle.

“Taquitos will be ready in like 15 minutes.”

[red_peril]

Illya follow her inside, "They smell good. You have nice place." He looked around as he followed her into the kitchen.

[loistheintrepid]

“You smell good,” she shoots back. Okay, when’s still a little tipsy probably.

“You drink it straight, or on ice, or what?” She pops the bottle open, grabbing some glasses.

[red_peril]

"Uh, thank you," Illya said leaning against the kitchen counter. It seemed like she had already indulged a bit before he arrived. That could have been why he'd received the strange and alluring text. "Americans like to mix it with things. Russians drink it straight. If you keep bottle in your freezer, you don't need ice."

[loistheintrepid]

She grins, pouring them two glasses and adding some ice before sticking the bottle in the freezer.

“Compromise,” she offers, handing him his glass before clinking them together. “To... taquitos, I guess.”

[red_peril]

He accepted the glass with ice, "That works. Na Zdorovie. Or for taquitos... Salud." Illya took a drink of it. The ice was strange. But he could compromise.

[loistheintrepid]

“Na... vz... zvarovski,” she manages, grinning and taking a drink. She considers him a moment, thoughtful. “Honestly? Kind of surprised you’re here.”

for @oldmancreed

[loistheintrepid]

They've started to get into some semblance of a routine lately, which is strange enough for both of them as it is. Victor stays at her place during the week and once Friday at 5 hits, they head out to his cabin for a few days of peace and quiet.

She's growing enough now that she's had to switch out most of her clothes for flowy tops and stretchy pants, which are a mild reprieve from the growing list of discomforts that are starting to build up now that trimester two is settling in.

She's been in meetings upstate most of the day, dropping by Xavier's for a short hello before heading back home just in time for the exhaustion to settle in. Dumping her purse and keys onto the table by the door, she peels off her shoes and trudges into the living room.

"Alright, I think it's time to start giving up the stilettos."

[oldmancreed]

What he does during the time he's at her place isn't much. It's clear he's happier and more productive at the cabin, but this is what's working for them right now and that's what matters.

As usual, dinner is ready and waiting for her. He's sitting in chair texting when she comes in.

"They're torture devices."

[loistheintrepid]

Honestly, if she'd known moving him into her apartment would guarantee coming home to a hot meal every night, she probably would've suggested it sooner.

She crosses the room to where he's sitting, offering a tired smile.

"But they make my ass look great." She smirks, stooping down to give him a peck on the lips. "Hi."

[oldmancreed]

"Your ass looks great already."

It only takes moment for things to sink in.

"Where've you been?"

[loistheintrepid]

"But it looks even better in heels," she shoots back, leaning over to pluck a piece of fruit from the bowl and munch on it. She takes a seat next to him, cocking a brow.

"Work. Why?"

[oldmancreed]

Bluntly, "You smell like the Mansion. Like Jimmy."

[loistheintrepid]

Her eyebrows lift and she blinks at him a moment.

"What?"

[oldmancreed]

"I can smell him on you."

for @poeticforce

[loistheintrepid]

[ Continued from here ]

[ Shit. Shit, shit shit. She hits the hailing button to transfer the communication to video, hurriedly wiping at her cheeks. ]

I'm sorry. [ Her voice is trembling when he picks up, searching the screen for his gaze. ] I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said anything-

<3

[poeticforce]

[ It takes longer than it should for him to pick up and when the video connects he's not immediately visible, the screen pointed at the ceiling as if it were laying on his bunk.

There is the sound of shaky, uneven breaths off-screen though. ]

No, it's okay. [ His voice sounds a little bit distant and has an edge of panic to it, like he had to force the words out.

After another minute or two the screen shifts as he picks it up. His face is flushed and eyes glossy, tear streaks likely visible on his cheeks. He's half looking at the screen, half not, a bit like he's embarrassed and doesn't want her to see him like this.

He has to clear his throat twice before he can speak again. ]

Sorry, I just...

[loistheintrepid]

[ God, it’s torture. Hearing the shallow gasps of air, that struggle for him to gain composure after the panic attack she knows he’s trying to recover from. She’s woken up to them in the middle of the night, held him as the shakes and shudders overcome him.

But she can’t do that now. Not from here. If she felt powerless to help him then, this was a thousand times worse. ]

No, it’s- It’s not okay. It’s not. I... God, I’m so sorry, Poe.

[ It’s so much worse when she sees his face. Sees all that anguish there, all the terror bubbling back up to the surface after he’s worked so hard to push it back down. ]

I... I just... I really miss you.

[poeticforce]

I miss you too.

[ Does he ever. Poe hates putting her through all this as much as he hates living it. This isn't what he ever wanted, for something to happen that would cause him to burden her with his problems. Because that's how he tries to think of it, as a burden that refuses to be shoved away in a corner and allowed to gather dust. Thinking of it any other way would force him to face the fact that it's not like a bruise or a headache; it's permanent, forever a part of him whether he likes it or not.

Wiping at his face with the hand not holding the tablet, his eyes flick to the screen to see her. He wants to crack a smile to try and show her he's okay but he can't force one out. ]

It'll... it'll get better. It has to, right? [ He's not sure which of them he's trying to convince more. Then, in a quieter voice-- ] I wish you were here.

[loistheintrepid]

[ God, she hates this feeling. Watching him crumble with no way to help piece him back together. Nothing to do but sit here, half a world away, and crumble with him.

And there’s a part of her that worries maybe she won’t really get him back. Not totally. It’s not a huge leap to wonder if whatever the Order did to him can’t be reversed. If they’re just putting band-aids over a gaping wound and trying to smile through it.

She nods, though, as he tries to put on a good face. Blinking a few times and sucking in a shaky breath.]

It will be. It will. I... God, I wish I were there, too. [ She forces a small smile, shaking her head. ] I’ll be back as soon as I can. Just... please be safe, okay?

[poeticforce]

[ Poe isn't sure what feels worse, the tightness in his chest or seeing how upset Lois is by the situation. He's supposed to be the one to make her smile, not make her cry. ]

I am. I will be. I mean, look at me. Couldn't fly right now if I wanted to. [ A halfhearted chuckle comes out as he tries to joke and he even manages a partial smile ... and then his expression breaks and he's sucking in a sharp breath, hand pushing his hair back from his face as he tries not to break down over that little fact. That he wasn't fit to fly.

Words he never, ever, ever thought would apply to him. ]

Just... give me a sec, okay?

[ He sets the tablet down and disappears for a minute or two. Even from the bathroom it's possible to faintly hear his ragged breaths and a few would-be sobs as he tries to pull himself together.

Breathe. Just breathe. He could do this. She's right there, even if he can't touch her or hold her at the moment. Lois is there and this is real and he's safe. Inhale. Exhale. Slow and steady.

When he comes back he climbs fully onto his bunk, grabbing the blanket that still has the scent of her, and he covers himself with it as he presses his back against the wall, drawing his legs up toward his chest. He rests the tablet against his knees and even if he doesn't look the greatest at the moment, his breathing at least sounded like it was finally evening out. ]

Sorry. I just needed a minute. [ He pauses to wipe at his eyes. ] You be safe too, okay? I know they aren't in the system but still be careful.

I don't want to lose you.

[loistheintrepid]

[ She’s spent the past few weeks pulling herself together for him. Being the strong one. Or trying to be, anyway. But the moment she’s away from him, she’s unraveled. Like all that pressure building up inside her has come to a head and bubbled over.

And the further away she gets, the more powerless she feels. She’s undone, barely able to hold herself together in front of a damn screen.

He steps away a moment and she mutes the screen, covering her face and letting out a pitiful sort of sob into her hands. It’s nauseating, knowing he’s there alone - waking up in the middle of the night to no one, panicking and suffering PTSD with no one there but doctors and a droid to ease his pain.

She hears the shuffle of blankets on her screen and she perks up, wiping hurriedly at her eyes and taking a deep breath before unmuting the screen again. ]

Hey. No, take your time. You know you don’t have to hide it from me. [ Never mind that she just did the same to him. But she offers another smile, shrugging a shoulder. ]

You couldn’t if you tried. Hate to break it to you, Dameron, but you’re kind of stuck with me.

[poeticforce]

I know I don't, but... I mean, you have to deal with it enough when you're here. You don't need it when you're so far away.

[ He sighs quietly and tries to settle. Relaxing is out of the question right now but settling, not being so tense, that's doable.

The sight of her smile helps, even if he can see she's not fairing all that much better than he is. Absently, he wonders if she's at least sleeping better without him constantly waking her up without meaning to.

At her words he smiles, just a small one but it's an actual smile. ]

Couldn't think of anyone better to be stuck with.